A few tips on how to behave and get the best from the Swinging Lifestyle.Helpdesk
Swinging is a lifestyle that pushes many peoples boundaries and as a result new comers often suffer from insecurities, uncertainties and fears. Please treat them as you would like to be treated - with kindness, thoughtfulness, understanding and sensitivity. Basically, courtesy comes down to us treating people the way we ourselves want to be treated.
Even if not you are personally interested in swinging with a person, be polite. It is very possible that you may share some other interests with the person, or you may meet that person again, and they may introduce you to someone with whom you ARE compatible and do wish to share time.
Basic good manners means that you should reply to all invitations.
The most frustrating part of hosting, be it a party, a group or another couple, is people who do not have the manners to respond, or who do not respond but turn up to the event anyway! The most frustrating part of hosting Swingers Parties is people asking if they can attend, then failing to respond to invitations, or attending without confirming.
Good manners requires you to respond, either by calling, sending a message or writing to say yes OR no. In these days of instant communications there is no excuse for not keeping your hosts informed of your intentions.
When you go to someone's home for a Swingers party or a private meeting, ask if there is something you can bring. (it's amazing how many supplies, other than food are used up at an average Swingers Party.)
If you are not going as a couple, a house gift is appropriate (and not necessarily wine.)
If you are attending a paid party or a Swingers Club no gift is expected or necessary.
Take whatever you personally are going to need with you for the event.
We carry a small toiletries bag as our play kit in which we have condoms, lubricants, wet-wipes and breath freshener.
If staying overnight take a small overnight bag for lingerie or robe, hairbrush, comb, toothbrush, cologne, intimate cleansing articles, condoms, etc..
If there are many people staying over, check with your hosts if you will need sleeping bags or blankets and pillows. Most hosts do not have enough for large groups.
Nothing will turn a playmate off faster and more effectively than an dirty body or smelly breath.
Even if you shower and perfume yourself before you leave home, it is always a good idea to freshen up again when you arrive at your destination.
It is surprising what effect the drive to an event, stopping for a bite, or whatever, can do to your hygiene preparations.
As I am sure you are aware, not everyone is comfortable in all situations. Keep your eyes open for signs that your partner, as well as other guests, are relaxed and enjoying themselves.
If someone appears to be uncomfortable, try helping them over the rough spots. Remember, you were a beginner once yourself.
If it is obvious that things are not working out, remain polite and courteous and alert the host.
If you are interested in swinging with another guest, let them know in an open and inviting way.
If they are interested, they will respond positively.
If they are not and say "No, thank you," but do not ask WHY. No amount of sweet talk or coercion on your part will change their mind and will probably work against you.
Everyone has the right to say "NO" to anyone including their own partner at any time, without explanation. Never forget this, it is the most important rule in swinging.
If you continue to push someone after being told "No", the host should have you removed from the premises. You will also get a bad name and potentially be excluded from other swinging events.
The most basic and most important etiquette in the "Swinging Lifestyle" is the right of anyone to say "No".
Experience has taught most people that not everybody they meet will be a good match for swinging.
Improper handling of a situation, can however lead to a lot of hurt or very bad feelings.
The swing world accepts the premise that everyone has the right to say "No" to anyone at anytime and it should be done with a simple "No thank you". Never give or ask for an explanation, because the reason can often be what causes problems and distress.
Most "Swingers" do not use drugs, with the exception of Viagra, Cialis and Levetra almost all recreational drugs impair your performance while making you think you are the worlds greatest lover!
Many people in the Swinging Lifestyle like to drink socially. At times a few drinks are nice to help you "relax". However over indulging will probably reduce your physical abilities, as well as possibly offend or turn other people off to you.
If you find it necessary to over indulge in order to participate in swinging, you are probably involved in the wrong lifestyle.
It is up to each one of us to protect our own and our partners sexual health.
With the present concern over sexually transmitted diseases such as syphilis, gonorrhea, aids, yeast infection, etc.., the use of condoms should not offend anybody.
Anyone not willing to take this precaution is acting selfishly and irresponsibly.
A person asking you to use a condom does not mean that you are not being accused of being unclean, it simply a request from someone who wishes to provide you both with protection from STI's.
These days people seem to have forgotten the social skill of calling or writing to say 'Thank You' to someone whose hospitality they have enjoyed.
It means a lot to most people to be told that their event was a success and enjoyed by their guests.
The host as also more likely to remember you when planning their next event.
Think! Don't you like to be thanked?
When you have a group of swingers coming to your home, try to anticipate their needs: put clean sheets on the beds; keep plenty of clean washcloths and towels available.
When the guests arrive show them through the house so that they will know where the safe room, playrooms, bathrooms, kitchen, and other rooms are located.
If you have an active profile, you should respond to all messages you receive even if it is a No.
Remember the owners of profiles you respond to are not always interested in you or your partners sexual heroics.
A first response should include a brief description of how you think you match the requirements the other person has outlined in their profile.
You can give them your email address or telephone number to see if they want to take things further.
Remember though, a person can still say "No", and you should not continue chasing them. In the swinging lifestyle, continuing to ask to play or meet after being told "No" is sexaul harrassment.
The most important part of swinging is that YOU have a good time, that YOU get to act out YOUR fantasies, that you get to explore YOUR own sexuality and that YOU enjoy everything this lifestyle has to offer.
Only play with people who you find attractive and who arouses you sexually.
Don't play with someone just so your partner gets a play date.